Catch You When You Fall
by drunkfacedtacos
Summary: An alternate version of the events from episode 2x21 on. Spoilers obviously.
1. Chapter 1

Title: Catch You When You Fall

Pairing: Cara/Kahlan

Rating: PG-13

Summary: An alternate version of the events from episode 2x21 on. Spoilers obviously.

Disclaimer: I own nothing.

* * *

Something about it just felt surreal.

As Kahlan fought off one Mord'Sith after another, she was acutely aware of the action happening just a few yards away. She tried to focus on her own part of the battle, but she felt a knot in her stomach just knowing that Richard and Cara were fighting. Each time she caught a flash of them out of the corner of her eye, that knot tightened. Kahlan had become accustomed to fighting side by side with Cara; they'd saved each other's lives more times than either of them could count. She'd gotten so used to that feeling of certainty, the confidence that came from knowing Cara was watching her back. It was a feeling she'd barely even noticed until it was gone. And now, this woman she'd come to depend on was on the opposite side of the fight.

For that reason, she almost felt relieved when Cara immediately went after Richard. It meant that Kahlan just had to focus on the half a dozen other Mord'Sith attacking them. None of them were as formidable as Cara, but they had her style: swift strikes to her midsection that she had to block rather than dodge. Unlike Cara, however, they were hesitant to be within an arm's length of the Mother Confessor for more than a few moments, so they quickly retreated where Cara would have pressed her. Kahlan almost smiled; even other Mord'Sith didn't have Cara's cockiness. On any other day, it would have made them easy to dispatch, but today Kahlan found herself preoccupied. A dark-haired Mord'Sith, probably thinking she'd be more comfortable fighting the Seeker, went to attack Richard from behind. Instinctively, Kahlan threw one of her daggers and hit the woman squarely in the chest. At least that meant one less attacker, but it also meant one less dagger to fight them off with. It also gave her a good look at how the other fight was going.

She could see that Richard was holding back, probably struggling with the same feelings Kahlan was having. To her surprise, though, it seemed as if Cara was holding back as well. She told herself that the blond was probably just taunting Richard, knowing that he wouldn't be able to fight her in earnest. It was something very much like Cara to do. Still, a faint whisper of hope kept creeping into the back of her mind, telling her that Cara might be just as hesitant to kill them as they were to kill her. Kahlan ignored it and steeled herself for the fight, focusing solely on the task in front of her. She thought of how Cara would scoff at this foolish sentimentality. She'd probably roll her eyes and talk about how Mord'Sith train to control their emotions, to draw strength from what they could and dismiss anything that made them weak. Kahlan had once insisted that her emotions made her strong, but now even she was aware that they only made her distracted.

The next time she got a glimpse of her friends, she could tell they were both getting more aggressive, holding back less and less with each blow. This time, however, she channeled her concern into anger, just the way Cara had taught her. As the Mord'Sith renewed their attack, she thought of the exasperated sigh Cara gave when she thought they were moving too slowly, the way she tossed her head back when she'd given up on reasoning with them, the irritated stare she used when she was feeling something she couldn't quite put a name to. Kahlan's anger grew with the weight of all she had lost, all that had been stolen from her so quickly, and she used it to take out the Mord'Sith one by one, until only the thief herself remained.

Dahlia.

* * *

Kahlan had known she was trouble from the moment Richard spotted her, even if she couldn't know exactly what kind. Her natural reaction to Mord'Sith was mistrust, and she hadn't had many reasons over the years to suppress that instinct. Really, just the one. The fact that this Mord'Sith was travelling alone certainly didn't help. She wasn't concealing herself well enough to be a scout, and, since she was following them, an ambush seemed unlikely. Still, her looming presence set the Mother Confessor's teeth on edge. By the time they finally found a suitable spot to set their trap, Kahlan's hands shook with anticipation, so she gripped her daggers tightly as she waited behind a nearby tree. Unfortunately, catching this Mord'Sith only made matters worse.

"Dahlia?" For perhaps the first time since she'd known her, Cara backed down without being ordered. That fact alone told Kahlan that lowering her dagger was ill-advised.

The way Cara looked at her, how she said her name, how they spoke to each other in a tone that seemed at once adversarial and familiar, even the fact that this woman didn't once reach for her weapon; all of it felt wrong somehow. Although the Mother Confessor had often resented her passive ability to read people, at this moment she would have given her right arm to be able to glean anything from either of the women standing in front of her. The smug grin on Dahlia's face certainly didn't help matters any. The two of them started talking about "the true Lord Rahl," which seemed a very Mord'Sith thing to do. Although Kahlan had come to understand and even appreciate much about Cara's worldview, she'd never been able to stand the way she constantly referred to Richard as "the Lord Rahl."

"I'm not talking about Darken Rahl, or the Seeker." Kahlan almost wanted to take issue with the contemptuous tone of that last part, but before she could even think of it, Dahlia's next words caught her attention: "I'm talking about your son."

Cara had a son. Kahlan waited a moment for a denial, an explanation, at the very least, an irritated sigh, but Cara just stared. She hoped that she had misheard, or perhaps this was something they'd known all along, and she'd just momentarily forgotten. Cara rarely spoke about her time as a Mord'Sith under Darken Rahl, and the rest of them had been wary of asking her about it, but surely something like this would have come up somehow. Kahlan suddenly felt vaguely dizzy. She looked from Cara to Richard and Zedd, just trying to regain her bearings. Luckily, Richard managed to ask if it was true. Cara was immediately defensive, insisting that it was unimportant.

When she finally confirmed it, that she'd had a son fathered by Darken Rahl, Kahlan was surprised most by her own reaction. She'd expected to feel angry, confused, even sickened, but seeing Cara's defeated posture as her secret was revealed, all Kahlan wanted to do was grab her friend in her arms and comfort her. Of course, Cara would have none of it. She'd barely reached her hand out before Cara slapped it away, insisting that it had been "an honor to be chosen by Lord Rahl." Kahlan could scarcely remember ever feeling this helpless. She couldn't comfort her friend, couldn't discern what this woman was up to; all she could do was watch.

After they'd heard Dahlia's story of what had happened to the boy, the four of them walked just out of earshot to discuss what they should do. As usual, Cara said it was a trap meant to distract them. There was something that Cara seemed almost afraid to say, but Kahlan had no idea what it was. She only knew that for some reason, Dahlia and Cara kept stealing glances at each other. When she asked if they could really trust her, all Cara would say was that they'd known each other since they were little girls, which was probably as close to an affirmative answer as she ever got with questions of that sort. Cara saw traps and treachery everywhere, so if she'd had the slightest inkling that this woman was lying, she would have said so. Kahlan tried to take comfort in that.

Richard decided they would go with his usual strategy of hoping for the best. He tended to think that they'd be able to find their way out of any trap they fell into, and, for the most part, he'd been right. Zedd and Cara would go with Dahlia to rescue the boy while Kahlan and Richard continued searching for the stone. No one, save for Dahlia, seemed particularly happy with this plan, a fact which Kahlan found thoroughly disquieting. Splitting up made them all vulnerable. Still, this was the plan they had, and discussing it further would only put both their goals in jeopardy.

Before they parted, Kahlan reached out to touch Cara's arm once again; this time the other woman accepted it. There was something she wanted to say so badly it burned in her chest, but she didn't quite know what it was and they probably didn't have time for it anyway. Instead, she squeezed her friend's hand and gave her what she hoped was a reassuring smile before turning to go in the other direction. As she caught up with Richard, she privately convinced herself that everything was going to work out.

* * *

Kahlan hated that she'd allowed herself to be so foolishly optimistic. She hated that this woman had betrayed Cara's trust and that she had been unable to stop it. As Dahlia prepared to attack, wearing the same smug grin she'd had that first meeting, Kahlan felt the fog of concern for her friends melt away. Whatever was happening with Richard and Cara was ancillary; in this moment, Kahlan knew exactly what she needed to be doing. This woman had used Cara's son to steal her away from them, she'd delivered her to Darken Rahl and allowed her to be tortured and broken, and now she had the audacity to show up here, fighting at Cara's side like a sister. There was only one response worthy of someone like that.

In a single, fluid movement she deflected Dahlia's agiel and used her free hand to grasp the Mord'Sith's newly undefended neck. Kahlan felt the familiar ripple in the air and the subtle vertigo that set in as her irises blackened. Usually, she felt a slight twinge of guilt when using her Confessor's power, but not this time. Behind her, she could just make out Cara's muffled cry, followed by the crack of steel against skull. Richard had knocked her out. It was probably for the best; she didn't need to watch this.

As her eyes cleared, she heard Richard's defeated voice. "She destroyed the compass. It's completely useless." Looking at the woman in front of her, Kahlan made a silent prayer to the spirits that, even if it was too late to save Cara, it wasn't too late to save their quest.

Dahlia's eyes fluttered wildly as the pain of confession set in. "I'm sorry, mistress. I'm so sorry."

"Where is Darken Rahl taking the Stone of Tears?" Dahlia didn't respond, instead looking around wildly and muttering apologies, so Kahlan softened her tone. She held Dahlia's face in her hands, forcing her to make eye contact. "Dahlia, if you're going to serve me, you must do it quickly. Where is Darken Rahl taking the Stone of Tears?"

"I don't know, mistress. I'm so sorry, I should have stopped him. What he did to her…" She was now looking at Cara who was sprawled out on the ground nearby. "I shouldn't have let him do it."

"What did he do, Dahlia?"

"I just wanted her back. I wanted–"

"Tell me what he did!" Kahlan knew her words were more forceful than they needed to be, but Dahlia didn't have much time left.

"She wasn't breaking. He tried everything. He's broken even the strongest Mord'Sith with half that, but she just laughed at him." Kahlan had to suppress a smile at the thought of it. She felt a swell of something like pride, knowing that Cara had fought so hard to come back to them. "He was running out of time and the Sisters of the Dark found us, so he made a deal with them. They cursed his agiel, infused it with all the suffering of souls Cara had tortured or killed."

"All of it?" Kahlan dropped her hands and stepped away in shock. Even the quickest death from an agiel was an excruciating experience. In the months they'd travelled together she'd seen Cara kill more people than she could hope to count and Cara had been a Mord'Sith for probably 15 years before that. Kahlan couldn't even fathom that much pain existing at one time, being inflicted on one person.

"It was wrong; that's not the way Mord'Sith are trained." Dahlia's breathing became labored and she could barely keep her head up; Kahlan knew it wouldn't be much longer. "I should have stopped him. I should have left with her, but I was afraid. I beg of you, mistress, forgive me."

With that, Dahlia collapsed at Kahlan's feet. Seeing the life drained from her eyes didn't give Kahlan quite the satisfaction she'd been expecting; instead she felt a delayed but familiar twinge of guilt. She turned around to see Richard with his jaw clenched, looking equal parts angry and horrified. "We need the stone."

"Maybe Cara knows." Kahlan felt her throat catch and her mouth dry up, as if her whole being were trying to stop her from saying this next part, but she knew she had to. Richard would never propose it, and, as much as it killed her, it was by far their most expedient option. "I would have to confess her to find out."

A part of her was relieved to see Richard fervently shaking his head, dismissing the idea before she'd even finished saying it. All the other parts were concerned, because they still hadn't thought of a better plan. Richard, for his part, seemed to be lost in his thoughts for several long moments before he finally broke the silence. "I never should have told her to go."

* * *

"It's not your fault. No one could have seen this coming." Richard, Kahlan, and Zedd spent the first night after Cara's betrayal taking turns blaming themselves for the whole mess. Zedd should have been more wary of Dahlia; he should have been more helpful when they were ambushed. Richard shouldn't have told her to go or he should have gone with her or he should have let finding her son be the one task they put off until after they saved the world. Kahlan should have seen the trap they were walking into, so they wouldn't have been stuck in that damn valley while Cara was being broken; perhaps more useful still would have been just confessing the Mord'Sith who had baited the trap.

They'd each state their reasons and the other two would respond dutifully with affirmations of "you did all you could" and "you couldn't have known." It was a silly ritual, and they all realized that it was wasting time they didn't have. Still, it had been some comfort to them, or rather all but one of them.

As badly as Kahlan had wanted to be able to read the two Mord'Sith days earlier, she wanted to be able to stop reading Richard and Zedd even more. The things they said, but Kahlan could sense the lies in them just as easily as she could feel the ones dripping from her own lips. Kahlan wanted to put those thoughts out of her mind, but each time she looked into her companions' eyes, she saw the same fears reflected back at her: how they'd all decided, in their own way and for their own reasons, that finding that child was worth risking their friend; how, even in suspecting a trap, none of them recognized that it could be for Cara. On some level, consciously or not, they had all believed Cara wasn't important enough, and because of it they'd lost her.

"There was nothing any of us could have done." She hoped she sounded certain of herself, and if either of them had heard the affectation in her voice, neither one acknowledged it. Perhaps she was a better liar than she thought. "We should all get some rest. I'll take the first watch."

She was up and walking the perimeter of their campsite before either of them could protest. It wasn't long before Kahlan heard the comforting rhythm of Zedd's snoring. She found a fallen tree to sit on and catch her breath for a moment. She felt as though a dam had broken in her mind, flooding her with thoughts of what the next few days might hold. Before she even realized what was happening, she was gasping for breath, her face wet with tears.

"Stop." She commanded herself to control her emotions. That single moment of release had felt better than she'd expected, but it was still a waste of time. "Stop that right now." She took deep breaths, long and slow, until she felt the ache in her chest dissipate. She found herself staring absently at the clear night sky. It felt somehow inappropriate that the stars should be shining on a night when everything else was so wrong.

"Kahlan?" She scrambled to wipe her face as she scolded herself for allowing Richard to sneak up on her like that.

"You should be sleeping. We have much to do tomorrow."

"I just wanted to make sure you were okay." Richard sat down next to her, but she looked to her other side.

"I'll be fine." Kahlan knew that her refusal to meet his eyes was only encouraging his suspicions, but she also knew that looking at him would confirm them.

"We will figure this out. I promise you." Normally Kahlan would take solace in Richard's certainty, but in that moment all she could see were obstacles, the million and one ways that they could fail and the thing she knew she'd have to do if they did. She knew Richard wasn't thinking about that. She hated having doubts about him, but it was easier to have faith when someone else was there to be the skeptic. She hadn't even realized till this moment just how nice it had been for the past year to have Cara for that.

"I know we will. I trust you." For the second time that night, she knew she was lying to him and he either didn't notice or chose not to comment. Instead, he put his arm around her and held her while she rested her head on his shoulder.

"We will fix this." This time, Kahlan closed her eyes and forced herself to let Richard's words allay her doubts. He was so calm, so certain, that it was almost hard not to find his words comforting. "Whatever he's planning, we'll stop him."

* * *

"We'll stop him." Richard was livid. "I'll kill him myself this time."

Now, Kahlan found his certainty more irritating than anything else. "We have to find him first. Even if we do, we don't know how many Mord'Sith he has defending him. Not to mention, if he's in league with the Sisters of the Dark–"

"I don't care." Richard was taking deep breaths, but they didn't seem to be calming him down. "I'm sorry." Kahlan knew he didn't like hearing this any more than she liked saying it, but it was the reality they had to face.

"She'll be awake soon." Kahlan hoped changing the subject would calm them both down. Richard must not have hit her particularly hard, because the blond Mord'Sith was already stirring. "We can't just leave her there. When she wakes up, she might try to kill us again." Richard only nodded in acknowledgement. Wordlessly, they dragged Cara to a nearby tree and tied her to it. Zedd arrived just as they were finishing up. While Kahlan explained to him what Dahlia had said, Richard made certain Cara's ropes were secure.

"You know what you have to do, Richard." Cara was not very much awake, and, in spite of her words, looking directly at Kahlan. "But we both know you don't have the stomach for it."

"I'll need to examine her to know the extent of the magic they used." Richard and Kahlan instinctively stepped back while Zedd passed his hand over Cara's neck and the side of her face. Swirls of black smoke appeared on her skin along with a subtle glow of orange, as if there were a fire burning just below the surface. For the first time since they'd known her, Cara seemed to be feeling a pain she couldn't control. "The curse on that agiel must have been very powerful; the residual magic is still clinging to her."

"Can you undo it?" Richard tried unsuccessfully to mask the hope and desperation in his voice. Kahlan couldn't begrudge him that; they all needed this to be something they could fix, preferably within the next few hours and without Cara dying in the process.

"I can remove the residual magic, but there's no telling if that will fix anything. Breaking a Mord'Sith is as much psychological as it is physical." Seeing the look in Richard's eyes, Zedd softened. "That being said, it certainly couldn't hurt to try."

As Zedd drew the runes for his spell in front of her, Cara refused to shift her gaze from Kahlan. "You're really going to trust the Wizard to fix me, Mother Confessor? You of all people should know that there's only one type of magic that can fix a Mord'Sith, and it's yours. Didn't you say you wouldn't hesitate to kill me if I ever turned on Richard?" Richard instinctively stepped between them, though it was unclear whether it was to protect Kahlan from Cara's words or Cara from Kahlan's touch. "I think I managed my part rather spectacularly. Are you really going to let the Seeker keep you from yours?"

Zedd cleared his throat. "The spell is ready."

If nothing else, that announcement got Cara to stop talking. As Zedd chanted over the runes, Cara seemed at first like she was going to throw up. After a few moments, her eyes glowed orange as black smoke seemed to be rushing out of every pore in her body and into the ground. Once all the smoke had cleared, she hung limply from the tree, gasping for air. When she finally managed to lift her head, her eyes darted around wildly.

Richard was the first to approach her. "Cara, are you okay?" Her eyes fixed on him as he stepped closer, but she remained silent. He was just within an arm's reach of her when Kahlan noticed the smirk on her face.

"Richard, don't!" It was too late, though. Cara had managed to get one of her hands loose and she used it to grab him by the collar and pull him in for a head butt. As he scrambled to get to his feet, Kahlan managed to retie Cara's free hand.

"I don't understand. Why isn't she back to normal?"

Zedd passed his hand over Cara again to no effect. "The spell worked, the magic from the cursed agiel is gone. It's like I said before, my boy, we took away the pain, but her mind is still broken."

"Can it be fixed?" Kahlan realized that now she was the one sounding desperately hopeful, but she didn't care.

"I don't know. Even if there is a way, I don't know that we have time to find it."

"Zedd, she would have done anything for me, for us. Rahl did this to her, and there is a way for us to undo it."

"My boy, we just don't have time." Richard took a long moment to process this. Kahlan and Zedd were at a loss; they'd both become so accustomed to following Richard's plans, believing in his judgments and decisions, but now he was refusing to make any.

The silence was finally broken by Cara laughing behind them. "The three of you really are pathetic. You could find out exactly where Darken Rahl is and exactly what he's planning in under a minute, but you'd all rather whimper like spineless children."

That was all that Kahlan needed to hear. She was taunting them, as she had been from the moment she'd shown up to ambush them, but there was just a hint of something else in her voice. For the first time in days, Kahlan felt that glimmer of hope and let the feeling wash over her. "Richard, you and Zedd should go."

"What? Kahlan–"

"Rahl thinks you're out of the way, which means he'll be careless. You can track him and then Zedd can leave a trail for me to follow. There's a town maybe a day's walk from here. We can get horses and catch up with you."

"Kahlan–"

"We need to get the stone back and we need Cara on our side. This is the way to get both."

"I'm not leaving you alone."

"I won't be alone." Kahlan couldn't stop the smile from breaking out across her face. "She's in there, Richard. I can feel it, and I can get through to her; I just need some time."

"You can't read a Mord'Sith."

"I don't have to. I know Cara, and she's in there. Please, Richard, you just have to trust me." He didn't need to say anything; she could tell that he'd agreed to it before she'd even finished talking. They said their goodbyes and Kahlan turned to face her friend while Richard and Zedd set off to in the other direction. This time, she smiled only to herself, feeling somehow certain that everything would work out.


	2. Chapter 2

Cara had never in her life been so relieved to see banelings. It had been several hours since she'd begrudgingly agreed to travel with the Mother Confessor to the nearest town, and they'd spent nearly the entire time walking in silence. Worse still was that the brunette had insisted on keeping Cara's weapons in her pack, giving her nothing to clear away the fog that had settled in her mind since the Wizard cast his spell. It was a harsh contrast to the clarity she'd felt after her retraining. Being with Dahlia, fighting alongside her sisters, serving a true Lord Rahl, all if it had felt just right; she'd known at every moment that she was exactly where she belonged.

Now every moment was filled with uncertainty. The way Richard had looked at her, like she was a lost lamb they'd found in the wood, had sickened her, but a part of her wanted to simply roll her eyes, knowing that it just was his way. As she travelled now with the Mother Confessor, every stray root and rock on their path made her watch with instinctive concern to ensure the other woman didn't fall. It was annoying and completely unnecessary, but she couldn't stop herself. If she could just get back to her Lord Rahl, he'd make everything clear again; she was sure of it.

She had hoped that they would be staying in the clearing where she'd sprung her ambush long enough for her to escape. She was nearly finished getting out of her bindings for the second time when the Mother Confessor decided that they would start travelling to the nearby village. Cara figured the woman must have been aware of that, since she had simply gestured for Cara to lead the way, making no attempts to untie her. Although Cara acquiesced, she knew walking ahead only made it easier for the confessor to keep an eye on her.

She watched her as if she was a petulant child rather than a legitimate threat, which Cara found incredibly irksome, so she reminded herself that she just needed to wait for the right moment when she could get away and get back to where she belonged. She only needed to be stronger than the Mother Confessor, for her resolve to last just a little bit longer, and then she'd be free. In the meantime, she needed something to distract her from her travelling companion, and, even if these attackers were little more than desperate hooligans, the fight would still serve that purpose.

Untrained as they were, they still had the presence of mind to gravitate towards Cara, her being unarmed. It proved to be a mistake on their part, as she wrested the sword from her first assailant and killed three others with it before they'd even registered what had happened. Cara frowned; this battle would be over far too quickly for her tastes. She sunk the blade deep into the man she'd stolen it from, burying it in his chest. An unarmed boy, maybe 17 years old, lunged at her, but a swift kick in the stomach stopped his momentum cold. As he fell over, she noticed he bore a strong resemblance to the man she'd just stabbed. His son, probably, or maybe a younger brother. It wasn't surprising; most groups of banelings had been families once, each taking the Keeper's deal to return to each other only to find out they'd been together all along. She felt the fog creeping back and decided that this was not the time to consider such matters, so instead she scanned her surroundings for a new weapon.

The sword would not be overly difficult to dislodge from the man's chest, but something else caught her eye. Barely a yard away, the Mother Confessor had dropped her pack, and Cara's agiels were just waiting to be reclaimed. The brunette was in no position to stop her, so Cara moved quickly to the bag. She grasped the agiel, eager for the fog to finally dissipate, but as she felt the familiar pain radiating up her arm, it returned, more insidious than before. The sharp sting in her hand was overwhelmed by dull aches in her gut and in her chest that made it nearly impossible to breath. She thought of Dahlia; this was how she had felt seeing her about to be confessed, being unable to reach her in time. When she'd awoken from being knocked out, the feeling had returned, but she'd pushed it down. Cara had learned when they were still in training to ignore the way her heart and stomach wrenched seeing Dahlia hurt; she'd learned to control her ache, but this was not hers. The agiel dropped from her hand as she gasped for air.

* * *

"Pick them up." Mistress Nathair's voice was slow and even. She'd never had to yell. Even when they were in school, she'd never once raised her voice to get the class in line. Miss Cranston was well respected by the people of Stowecroft, so Cara and Dahlia, along with most of their classmates, had wanted so badly to impress her that they'd listened attentively to every lesson she'd ever given. Now that they were in a different kind of training, if she wanted her commands heard, she accentuated them with the crack of a whip or the sting of an agiel. When neither of them moved, she gave a subtle nod to Triana, who got a gleam in her eye as she applied the whip again. "You've felt these agiels before; you know their touch. You've both been at this temple for nearly three years. By now, it should feel like a part of you, an extension of your own arm, but instead I hear that you two refuse to spar with them. Is that true?"

"Yes, Mistress." Cara and Dahlia spoke in unison, looking wearily at the agiels presented to them.

"Do you believe you have already mastered them, and have no need to practice?"

"No, Mistress."

"You've both excelled at your other weapons training. With a sword or a bow, you could best sisters twice your age, and yet you spurn the one weapon that will make you truly powerful, the one that will make you Mord'Sith." The whip came again, hitting each of their exposed backs in quick succession. "Any soldier can wield a sword, even kill with it, but only a Mord'Sith can handle an agiel. Only a Mord'Sith is strong enough. Do you want to remain weak?"

"No, Mistress." Cara rolled her eyes slightly, bored with the repetition of these sessions, and soon after felt the whip on her back.

"In time, it will be the most familiar thing in the world to you. The sooner you apply yourselves, the sooner that time will come." Cara couldn't help but giggle at the similarity between that statement and one she'd made years earlier when teaching them to read. She prepared to feel the whip once more, but it was Dahlia who was struck. She quickly stopped giggling. "Until that time comes, you are not Mord'Sith; you are slaves in this temple. Slaves do not have the privilege of disregarding commands. Now, pick up the agiels."

Cara looked up to see the tears beginning to pool in Dahlia's eyes. They both knew that crying only lead to more pain, but the instinct to do so hadn't been driven from them just yet. Cara reached out and held Dahlia's hand and squeezed it as hard as she could until the moisture was gone from her eyes. Then, carefully, Cara took the agiel in front of her. The first touch nearly knocked the wind out of her, so as the pain crept up her arm she squeezed Dahlia's hand more tightly, until she could breathe again. Through gritted teeth, she smiled at her friend, trying to tell her that she should follow suit. Although she couldn't watch, she knew the exact moment Dahlia picked up her agiel from the tightening of her hand.

The buzzing of the two agiels was nauseating as it pierced the air. Cara nearly gagged, but then she heard the faint sound of a melody. Dahlia was humming; it was a lullaby they'd learned as children. Dahlia had sung it to her the first night they'd found each other in the dungeon, and although years of torture had made them forget the words, the tune was still just as comforting. Cara tentatively joined her, and soon enough she could hear the song in the humming of her agiel.

After a few hours, they were dismissed, but Mistress Nathair made sure they kept their agiels with them. As they walked out, they were the ones with the gleam in her eyes while Triana pouted at having to stay her whip. Over the years of her training, Cara learned the many practical reasons for fighting with an agiel: how it centered her in battle; how it blocked out the pain her enemies might inflict; how it was the only weapons in existence that would never be turned on its owner. All of that paled in comparison, however, to the lesson she learned that day: as long as she could find the comfort in the pain, she would never be weak.

* * *

Cara felt her breathing steady as the ache in her chest subsided. She became vaguely aware that the stinging in her hand was also gone, but before she could look for her weapon, she felt someone tackle her from behind. She landed awkwardly on her left hand, and was almost too distracted by the unsettling popping sound to realize that her tackler was now feebly trying to strangle her. More out of annoyance than anything else, she swung her right arm around so that her elbow made clean contact with the assailant's temple, and he fell away once again. She recognized him as the same boy from earlier and found herself approving of his scrappiness, if not his technique.

At this point, of the dozen who'd attacked them, only three remained, four if the boy got back in the fight. The Mother Confessor could easily handle them, but Cara was not about to let the remainder of this battle pass her by. She scrambled to get back up, but when she pushed off of her left arm, she found it thoroughly uncooperative, landing her on her back instead of her feet. An older woman who'd stayed out of the fray for the most part, clutching her dagger as though holding it tighter would teach her how to use it, saw her opportunity and lunged at Cara. Happily, the Mord'Sith discovered that her legs still worked fine. She trapped the woman in a simple leg hold, and then used her weight as leverage to get back upright.

Once she was standing again, she reclaimed the sword from the nearby body and prepared for the next assault. To her surprise, however, none came. The woman who only moments ago had been hungry to kill for another day of life now seemed ready and willing to accept her second death. Even the boy, although he'd gotten back on his feet, looked similarly resigned. Their hollow stares sent a clear message to Cara: she was no longer their opponent, she was their executioner.

"What are you waiting for?" Her voice was weak, defeated. "Finish it." Cara raised the sword; Mord'Sith did not show mercy.

"Run." The word fell from her mouth without her intending to speak it. With one swing, she could have cut both of their throats, but her sword hand remained still as the woman grabbed the boy and they ran for the nearby tree line. Cara simply watched them go.

She picked up her agiel from where it had fallen on the ground and quickly holstered it. With any luck, the confessor hadn't seen the way the weapon had affected her, so carrying it might at least make her seem more intimidating and less like a lost child. Behind her, she heard the slicing of daggers in flesh and, moments later, felt a hand on her shoulder. "They only have a few hours left; they won't be able to find anyone in time."

"I know, Cara, I wasn't–"

"We should burn these just in case." Cara gestured to the scattered corpses littering the ground around them. "I'll gather some wood." With that, she pulled away from the confessor's touch and stalked off towards the woods.

Without a proper ax or the use of her left hand, gathering firewood was a more difficult task than she'd anticipated. She found a large boulder to sit and rest on. As she looked behind her, she discovered that the Mother Confessor had been following her, keeping maybe fifteen paces back.

"Making sure I don't run away, Mother Confessor?"

"You're injured."

"I'm fine." The last thing Cara needed was the confessor tending her wounds.

"Then why are you carrying a sword and an entire bundle of firewood in one arm?" Before Cara had a chance to protest any more, the confessor was at her side, examining her wrist. "It feels broken. Hopefully there's a healer in the town, otherwise we'll just have to splint it until Zedd can fix it." It felt too natural, this woman tending her wrist like they were allies, friends. It was wrong. She closed her eyes and willed herself to remember exactly how wrong it was for a Mord'Sith to take any comfort in the touch of a confessor. As she felt her glove being clumsily removed, Cara found herself rolling her eyes rather than pulling her hand away.

"This is unnecessary, confessor."

"If we don't splint it now, it'll just get worse." Cara looked away and tried to ignore the sharp intake of breath as the Mother Confessor undid the laces on her sleeve, revealing a deep purple bruise left over from her retraining. Cara scolded herself for allowing her to see it. A Mord'Sith's leathers were designed to cover up scars and bruises left by their training. No one was ever mean to see these weaknesses, even though she'd carry them with her everywhere she went. The confessor ran her finger over the mark so gently it was unsettling. "Doesn't that hurt?"

It did hurt, but not in the way she was asking about. "It's fine, Kahlan." She'd made a mistake, and she knew it. From the look in the other woman's eyes, she'd noticed it too. "It'll heal, Mother Confessor." It was a lame attempt at a recovery, but one she needed to make.

The Mother Confessor was her enemy. Cara had known that since she was still a novice in the Mord'Sith temple. A confessor was someone who could destroy everything she'd become with a single touch and then watch her die in agony. But Kahlan was not just the Mother Confessor. Kahlan Amnell was a woman she'd come to respect, even admire. A woman who had seemed so weak and pathetic when they'd first met, but who had proven at every turn exactly how wrong that first impression had been. They'd fought side by side and back to back; she trusted Kahlan in battle as much as she'd ever trusted any of her sisters in the temple. Everything about Kahlan went against all Cara had learned in 15 years of training, but when she smiled, the way her blue eyes sparkled, it didn't seem to matter anymore.

Still, the Mother Confessor served the Seeker and opposed the true Lord Rahl. The Mother Confessor had killed Dahlia. The Mother Confessor was still her enemy. Cara jerked her arm away. She was already having trouble focusing and feeling the confessor's hands on her only exacerbated her confusion.

"Come on, I'll get the fire started and then we'll see if there's something in my pack we can make a splint with." With that, she took the firewood from Cara and made her way back to the pile of corpses. Cara watched her go, realizing that this was the first time the confessor had let her out of her sight. This was her chance to escape, to return to Darken Rahl and her remaining sisters. By the time the confessor realized she wasn't following her, it would be too late. She knew what she needed to do and yet she didn't move. Instead, she watched as the confessor made her way out of the woods. She looked at her left arm, resting against the boulder, and thought of the Mother Confessor's soft hands, her gentle touch.

If she didn't return to the Lord Rahl soon, she might forget her training altogether. She needed pain, but her agiel wouldn't help; she needed to escape, but her legs wouldn't cooperate; she needed control, but her own thoughts betrayed her. She noticed a large rock on the ground by her foot. It was barely small enough that she could hold it in one hand and too large to put in a sling, making it just the right size for what she needed. Holding it up, she noticed how the smooth surface contrasted with the course underside, as though it had been stuck in this very spot of ground for a hundred rainy seasons. Without another thought, she brought the rock down on her left wrist with as much force as she could muster. She kept going, smashing her hand and her fingers.

"Cara! Cara, what are you doing?" Cara was vaguely aware that the other woman was yelling, but her voice seemed barely audible. "Cara, stop that!" She felt the confessor grab her arm and wrestle the stone away from her. As the throbbing pain made its way up her arm, she felt the clearest sensation she'd had since setting out on this ridiculous journey: anger.

"Why do you even care? We both know without the Seeker around you have no qualms about confessing Mord'Sith, so why not just get it over with?"

"I'm not confessing you, Cara."

"Well, you should. Either confess me or let me go."

"No." Cara was taken aback to see the fiery anger in those icy blue eyes matching her own. "Do you know you are the most stubborn person I have ever met? You would rather smash your own hand than admit that you might doubt your convictions."

"I don't doubt anything."

"Why? Because Darken Rahl tortured you?"

"You don't know anything about it."

"Maybe I don't, but you do. You've broken people before; you know it's just a trick. They tricked you before into killing your father, and they tricked you again into betraying us."

"Mord'Sith aren't broken, we're trained. That's a distinction Richard never understood, either. Darken Rahl didn't trick me into anything; he reminded me of what I am. That's how I realized that I was foolish to follow the Seeker: he could never be the true Lord Rahl."

"So that's it, then? This whole time, everything we've been through together, it was all because of who you thought Richard might be?" The look in Kahlan's eyes now was one Cara had seen countless times before: she was almost done. She'd had faith in Cara, in their connection, but that faith had taken her as far as it could; she was spent. One word from Cara now, the right word, would put an end to this whole pointless journey. It would be a lie, but Kahlan wouldn't be able to tell. She was stronger than Kahlan, her resolve could last just a little bit longer, and with one word she could prove it. To her surprise, however, Cara realized that there was no part of her that wanted to say it.

"No, that wasn't the only reason." Cara watched as the hope returned to the confessor's eyes. She clung desperately to the few shreds of rage that hadn't already melted away. "You know you're wasting your time. Whatever use you think I'll be to you isn't worth this trouble. Whatever point you're trying to prove by saving my soul…I am not a thing worth saving."

"Yes, you are. Cara, you are always going to be worth it to me. It's not because you're useful or because I'm trying to prove a point; it's because you're my friend and I love you." It felt oddly natural to hear those words from Kahlan. She thought about what Dahlia had said to her days earlier.

"You don't even know me."

"I know enough." Kahlan smiled. It was that annoyingly hopeful smile that made Cara want to ignore her better judgment. Cara rolled her eyes in response, which only served to make Kahlan smile more. "Well, your left hand's going to be pretty much useless for now. We'll just have to immobilize it and hope that Zedd can fix it when we catch up to him. Honestly, Cara, what were you thinking?"

"Too much." Kahlan seemed to decide it was best not to press for a more helpful response. She simply offered her hand and, surprising even herself, Cara took it. Accepting the simple gesture of friendship felt like a betrayal of everything she'd been trained to be, and accepting it hurt her more than any agiel ever could, but as Cara looked at the brunette beside her, she decided it was a comforting sort of pain. She might be stronger than Kahlan, it was difficult to be sure, but she knew that she was strongest with Kahlan. Maybe that was all the clarity she needed for now. The two of them walked side by side as they made their way out of the woods.


End file.
